


All Alone

by Talullah



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-14 15:19:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2196753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talullah/pseuds/Talullah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwindor tells Finduilas he is going to war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to ilye_elf for the beta. *smooches*
> 
> Written for ficalbum (REM's Out Of Time - Texarkana).
> 
> [Disclaimer/Blanket Statement](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Talullah/profile)

**Nargothrond, First Age 472**

"I have to go."

Simple as that, were Gwindor's words to me, breaking the quiet of my tiny garden - if a ledge on the cliff with a few flower pots can be called that. We had gone there, despite the early snows, in search of the rare privileges of privacy and sunlight. I knew he had something to tell me, and I knew what it was long before the words left his lips. He had been moody and silent, and one name stood between us cold and sharp like steel: Gelmir. My love had never forgotten his brother, and long had the steel of his blade been thirsty for black blood. Who could blame him?

"I understand," I said.

I did not lie, for a part of me did understand. The world grew dimmer and we knew that no one but us, the Firstborn, would fight it. Our people had hidden in the safety of our caves for far too long and now it was time for Nargothrond to join its colours with the flags of the other elven realms. The talk of war was in the air, had been for long enough to become inevitable in the minds of all, and long before my father announcing it two days before.

Gwindor smiled faintly at my words and embraced me. "My Faelivrin," he whispered to my ear, and a feeling of foreboding chilled me. He held me closer, and I shut my eyes, trying to ignore the certainty that nothing would ever be the same after this war, even if he and my father were to return from it. I did not need my aunt Galadriel's gifts to know this.

"Gwindor," I started, in a vague hope. "Promise me..."

He gazed into my eyes, waiting for the rest, but I shook my head. "It's nothing. Please just don't do anything rash."

He smiled, his fingers caressing my face. "I won't."

We kissed, slowly, tenderly. A door was closed somewhere afar and we parted. I rose from the stone bench, holding out my hand to him. Even now, so many months before their actual departure, I could already see them proud and shining in their armour, leaving home, while I stood with the women and children waving goodbye, alone in the crowd. I turned my face to hide the sorrow, but he knew me too well.

"Fae..." His arms protected me from the cold, his body feeling so solid that no death could ever touch it, and I relaxed. He would return safe and sound.

We walked to my room separately, in the usual manoeuvres destined to keep private what everyone already knew: more than betrothed, we were lovers. Once there, we held, kissed, slowly undressed, the familiar gestures made alien by the lack of smiles or laughter. I hungered for him, feeling him gone already. I could not look at the sadness stamped in his handsome features, nor I could not imagine my life without him, he who had brought joy previously unknown to me, he who had stood by my side and by my father's when our Fëanorian cousins usurped our rights and privileges and no one would associate with a powerless king and his daughter.

"We should say the vows." The words left my lips as the logical conclusion for those thoughts. There was no one on Arda whom I loved more, trusted more, save for my father. I should be Gwindor's wife and he should leave me with child, two of us waiting for his return.

"We will." He stopped kissing my neck and smiled gently at me. "When I return to wipe the tears from your cheeks and the fear from your heart."

I made no protest as he kissed me again, but I feared, oh I feared. He seemed already lost to me.

 

_Finis  
August 2006_


End file.
